Another semester is coming to a close as one final month of splendid papers and exams sing their penultimate bel canto; the end isn't quite there yet. Oh how I wish I could turn them all to Castratis.
Life goes on as it rounds the corner every year. It rushes through things; birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, memories, friends and lovers. It does not stop, nor does it slow down. A new day always rises full of promise-laden minutes spreading through-out the day, everything starts anew, the only thing that binds us are the memories, the remnants which we have created and left behind. Without it, we won't go anywhere. Life is a neverending chain of events which ripples to the edges of days turned months flowing freely to years merging together in the infinite sands of Time.
Time goes forward, surges toward things yet unknown and we are his aging slaves; life follows as we are witness to the deaths and births rushing through a river of humanity. We move forward, yet things become crystal clear to us backwards, as if life were meant to be a series of untold ironies in the midst of recognitions and reversals.
It is almost as if life were a tragedy from the age of Romanticism waiting to startle us into the most beautiful arias in one grandiose production called humanity.

I can't wait for sem break.

golf tryouts tomorrow, hope I make it.

Some people are totally annoying. Someday I'll hijack a steamroller to squash the bugs in my path.

I need a gap year now.
Planning to take part in earthwatch.org, might jet off to somewhere before I finish the sem .
I need to get away from it all.
I need to find myself
This is a search for identity

Not in the best of moods right now.
I hate the world, and everything that goes with it

I got Entablado for my CWTS because I thought that it would be cool to participate in a socially oriented organization which hosts plays. The grandeur of the Phantom of the Opera popped into my mind as the chandelier came crashing down onstage. But then the people who signed up for this said CWTS were required to attend the auditions. Stellar.
There are quite a lot of things I have learned from myself at this certain point. That I, the silly individual who claims that she could not care less on what others think would adamantly refuse to do mainstream-ly improper things, (yes, there's still a shred of a prim and proper Elizabethan lady in me) that I can talk for hours and hours regardless of the fact that no one's listening and finally that I am sooo not good in Filipino, Tagalog... whatever you get my point.
But if this is what it takes to shine on the West End, then so be it! Sooner or later I shall be the Primma Donna!
I'm totally going crazy

So much violence and mindless bloodshed. As I wade through the pages of distant battle, I can smell the blood of valiant warriors splayed on the battlefield. Spears driven into their skulls, glorious in memory but horrendous to the eyes.
For what? All for passion, extravagance, pride.
I so love the Iliad!

My life is so crazy

a few weeks ago, my whole family (minus my eldest sister) and I went to a Buddhist temple waaay up in Baguio. My dad eagerly ran to perform an "answer-seeking" ritual after lighting some incense (no doubt it was to ask if Ach would snag a guy any time soon) as everyone else followed.

After the temple boy interpreted his slip of paper, our little delighted beaver was causing quite a commotion with his "I told you so's" to everyone in particular and refused to move from his spot, listening to everyone's consultations and adding some pieces of advice in the middle of the monk's interpretation.

The temple boy's advice was pretty accurate, he told my older sister "You're always in a hurry, that will cause you problems" which is true, cause she is an impatient little bulldog; while his advice to my brother was "to leave everything be for his current married life."

As for me, he said that my "heart" *snicker* and mind are always conflicting, that in order to attain success, they have to be on the same page. That I have to pray *gasp* and during trying times, someone would always help me out. With regards to starting a business "you're too young, in a few years perhaps" *hmph-a*
Oh yeah, I'm going to conquer the world with a black heart that goes well with my larger-than-life mind.

Level 1
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
(x) drank alcohol

SO FAR: 3

Level 2
(x) in/been in love
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted (when I was what? six years old?)
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight

SO FAR: 7

Level 3
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested <-almost
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date

SO FAR: 10

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school <- dozens of times
( ) slept (not sex) with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die .

SO FAR: 13

Level 5
(x) had/have a crush or liked one of ur friends
(x) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
(x) been on a plane
(x) thrown up from drinking

SO FAR: 17

Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been mosh pitting

SO FAR: 19

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
(x) love/loved someone who you cant have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel

SO FAR: 23

Level 8
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

SO FAR: 28

level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

SO FAR: 33

Level 10
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

so far: 39

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a deer

SO FAR: 43

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school <-almost twice
( ) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident

SO FAR: 45

Level 13
( ) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 47

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes

SO FAR: 52

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 57

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 62

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 65

Level 18
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 70

Level 19
(x) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true

SO FAR: 74

Level 20
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis/dick" in class
() swam with dolphins

SO FAR: 76

Level 22
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 79

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR: 83

Level 24
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

SO FAR: 86

Level 25
( ) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone to jail

SO FAR: 87

Level 26
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused

SO FAR: 91

Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed

SO FAR: 94

Level 28
( ) mooned/flashed someone
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

SO FAR: 98

Level 30
(x) Rode on a roller coaster
(x) went scuba-diving/snorkeling (and hated it)
(x) had a cavity
(x) Black-mailed someone
(x) been black mailed

SO FAR: 103

Level 31
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
( ) licked someone

Final: 106

done 106 stupid things in my life, but had fun anyway :p

I hate to admit this, but I am guilty of letting my mind wander to an alternate universe.
Pondering the "what if's" in my life is not exactly my favorite occupation since I never liked looking back
nor regretting my actions. Perhaps some people would call it pride, hubris, whatever... its not like I think
I'm always right, its just that I believe in letting the past be and living with the consequences of our actions.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I forced my way into Sixth Form. If I were a world away right now, being where I wanted to be instead of dreaming up that lost possibility. Dreading cold winters and enjoying rare days when the sun would come out, studying humanities all year long, having day trips to musuems where actual relics of certain eras actually exist, watching plays at the west end during my free time... No doubt about it, the difference in the quality of education is more than miles apart.

I must be crazy to pass that up because of some things.

But when I look back at my current life, what had transpired after I passed the crossroad, my nerd squad, bondings by the zen garden, tricycle rides, the tap dancing craze numerous irreplacable moments that taught
me more about the real world than Yellowstone-sized libraries ever can.

Yes, I'm glad to be here, and perhaps I would not mind being stuck here for the rest of eternity, at least not much. As long as I have my business partners with me (twip, twip, christa, cha, angeli, liaa, pam, val, gin, pamsee, ginj, kato, anding...) and of course my fellow lit pals (jen, bee, ka, keish, alessi, andy, sunny*ahem* kenot*ahemahem*, carms, yo2... )I know I'll survive

Been watching classic movies again, adoring the golden years of Hollywood before glitzy starlets plagued the red carpet scene.
It is ultimately depressing that movies nowadays lack the depth and majestic atmosphere of the early years. Silent movies have gone extinct, the signature southern Hollywood accent has been replaced by mostly Californian twang, most of the modern characters have lost their complex individuality as storylines get more steroetypical and ultimately predictable.
Thank goodness for art films, at least they are not overrated

To watch the world go by in multi-colored streamers. 
Oh wow
Such a shame that our universe waits for us by our front steps every morning in all its two-dimensional glory dripping in black and white, containing a mass of information about crimes, achievements, policies, politics, scams... By morning its still fresh, but when midday comes, its useless and eventually thrown awat to god knows where. 
But today is different
My dog came between me and the newspaper, tearing the world apart before I could catch a glimpse of it. Great, now I would have to watch the news seeing as its almost noon anyway. 
Thanks Bitch